The Long Way Home
by J. H. Fee
Summary: It has been seven years since Sozin's Comet. Azula has spent the time locked away in an asylum, kept drugged to keep her powerless and controllable. But one day a memory forces its way through the fog, a moment from her youth that might be her salvation.
1. Chapter 1

The Long Way Home

Chapter 1

In a way, it was the quiet that was the worst part. The nightmares she could handle, and the delusions she could recognize, they were even comforting at times, but when everything was gone, when it was just her, and her room, and the silence of the tower, that was when Azula _knew_ she was crazy.

She would sit on her bed, running her fingers through her hair and watching the world outside the window. Below the tower, _her_ tower, the great Fire Nation Capital was a massive circular crisscross of color and light, and if she narrowed her eyes and concentrated, she could see the distant shapes of people moving back and forth, going to the market, walking to the port. Living, laughing, happy people, peasants and nobles and visitors from the rest of the 'peaceful' world.

At first she had hated them, _despised_ them, wished them dead and swore that she would call down a strike of lightning so powerful that not even the Avatar would stop it. She'd sear the city from the mountain, burn the mountain from the sea, and there would be nothing left but ashes and sparks and her tower.

But she knew she couldn't. The medicine they gave her in her water took away her bending, suppressed it down so tightly that it was nearly gone, and kept her mind so hazy that she could barely even think. If she focused, concentrated and pushed her way through the fog, she could make a flame in the palm of her hand, no larger than her thumb. But it never lasted, and the effort was so exhausting she'd sleep for days afterwards.

And hate itself is a tiring emotion when it has no where to go, nothing to build on. As the days turned to months and the months faded into years, the time she spent staring at the city drifted from rage, to distaste, to curiosity. She'd make up stories in her head about the ones she saw often, Lord So and So from New Ozai _wait, it was Omashu again_ Lord So and So here to order a new fire barge, Lady Wet and Kind of Ugly from the Northern Water Tribe here to talk to the Fire Lord about trade.

The Fire Lord…

Not her father, not the great and powerful Ozai who had crowned himself Phoenix King of All the World and then got beaten by a boy who was barely old enough to shave. Now her brother, Zuko, _little Zuzu _he was Fire Lord, he was the one the imaginary water tribe noble would come to see. He was the one in the palace, living happily, 'saving the world' with the Avatar's help, for years and years.

_Has it been years?_ She was sure it had, but how many? She had counted by the visits, at first. Zuko came once a month, but never really talked to her. He would stop by the door, even through the haze she could feel him there, watching her, looking for something, some sign that neither of them could even be sure existed, and then he would leave again. Mai, Zuko's wife and the new Fire Lady had come more often at first, and had spoken to her, long, wandering stories about the world._ yes, it has to have been years because Mai and Zuko got married and they have a son and he is old enough to talk so it has to have been. _But as the time passed, when Mai gave birth to their son, her visits had faded. She always made excuses when she did finally come, that things were so busy, that life never gave her a moment, but Azula knew the truth. _It's hard to talk to someone who never talks back_.

But it was Ty Lee whom she really used to tell time, Ty Lee the silly, empty-headed acrobat who did whatever she told her to do with flourish and a smile. _And then betrayed me and kept me from killing Mai_. But that wasn't the important part, not anymore. Every Wednesday the door to her room would open and Ty Lee would step in instead of the nurse, holding a tray of food and two glasses of water, a small smile on her round, open face. Her clothing was always different, sometimes fire nation, sometimes Kyoshi warrior garb, sometimes a mix of the two as if she'd thrown whatever she could find on in a rush to be there by lunch. But the smile was always the same.

And she'd talk. Not like Mai talked, not with stories about the world, about politics and family, she'd talk about _nothing_. Boys, clothes, food, the weather, she'd fill the silence with sounds and words that Azula didn't even bother to try and understand. But it helped. She heard the doctors sometimes, catching snippets of their words. 'She looks better on Wednesday,' one would say, 'she almost smiled today, I though,' another would whisper back.

_Four years; At least four. _For four years the acrobat had filled the silence, kept the things that haunted Azula away, tried to draw her back from wherever the hate and the medicine sent her. Then…one Wednesday, the door had opened and it was just the nurse. She might have said something, tried to explain why Ty Lee wasn't there, but Azula knew. It was just like Mai. _If I never answer, they eventually all leave_.

And then time had become a blur, fluid and empty, a hazy of fog and agonizing periods of silence with nothing but her own clouded, angry thoughts. The doctors tried to speak to her, to do their 'jobs' and try to put her mind back together. But they couldn't ever take her off the medicine, and without that, without even the lifeline that Ty Lee had spent so many years trying to throw her, where could she go?

So she was stuck. She would sit at her window, ignore the voices, ignore the delusions, and watch the world go by.

At least, until the cake arrived.

* * *

"Happy Birthday, Azula," the voice was soft and soothing with the arching overtone of someone who was usually so upbeat and high pitched, but was trying to keep that under. Ty Lee. _It can't be Ty Lee, she doesn't come anymore. And besides it isn't Wednesday_. "I'm sorry I haven't been here, I just – I don't know. It was so hard and you're always so…so…" It was Ty Lee, it had to be her, and Azula shifted faintly at her window perch, turning her head enough so her face sat on the stone edge and her glassy golden eyes could take in her friend.

She was older, years older, but somehow she hadn't lost the youthful curve to her round face, the sparkle in her eyes that was there even through the sadness that hung so obviously in every gaze she cast towards Azula. She was dressed in pink again, though the uniform certainly looked Earth Kingdom. _It's Kyoshi, but she made it pink. Of course she made it pink_.

"I made you a cake. It's strawberry and moon peach. They wouldn't let me bring candles in, they thought it might upset you. Well, that Doctor, I think he's new, he didn't want me to even bring the cake in, said you wouldn't eat it. He said you don't eat anything but sticky rice and vegetables and water and those vitamin pills but Zuko said to let me in. Uhm," Ty Lee was rambling, _Ty lee is always rambling_, but she set the cake down carefully on the edge of the bed as she talked. "I hope it's good, some of the girls have been teaching me to bake. They said my last cake was really good, and I just…I had to bring you one. Especially today." Her voice dropped to a whisper, edged with that ever-present amusement that the acrobat never seemed to lose. "And don't tell anyone, but I snuck you in a fork."

From out of her sleeve the brunette tugged a simple metal three-prong fork, which she used to cut a generous slice from the cake, setting it on one of the hospital plates and then leaving it next to Azula, moving back to cut herself a piece. "I remembered how much you loved this cake. Do you remember? I think we were nine…or maybe it was ten, I'm not sure really. We were at the palace, and one of the new cooks was trying to show off to your father. She made this giant cake, big enough for a whole party, and you and me and Mai all sat around eating it. You kept throwing pieces at Zuko," Ty Lee giggled softly, and drew another fork from her sleeve, taking a bite of the cake. "And then Mai yelled at us and ran off and we went looking for her. It took me _years_ to track down the recipe again. That Cook lives in the Earth Kingdom now, in this adorable little port town way down south. She has her own shop and everything. I was-"

Azula didn't mean to tune the other out, not this time, but her golden eyes settled on the piece of cake sitting next to her on the bench. She could smell it, the odd mixture of fruits and flour and icing giving off the slightly-too-sweet scent of cake that probably could've been called candy. Hesitantly she picked up the fork, fingers falling into long forgotten positions as she held the metal tool between her fingers. _A fork! A weapon, a wonderful weapon, you could escape with nothing but this, escape, be free, leave this useless prison and-_

Azula let her attention shift back to Ty Lee, who was still describing the things she had seen while tracking down the cake recipe, and the thoughts faded. It was just a fork, and she needed it to eat her cake. After so many years, the first bite was heaven, and she let her eyes close as she chewed it, her mind drifting back to that day so many years ago. Before the world had changed and her mother had disappeared and Zuko had been banished. When things had been _happy_, or as happy as their family had ever been.

_"- to the earth kingdom, My Lord."_

The voice was in her head, same as the others, but not Ty Lee, and not…her. It was deep and masculine and chipped off in crisp, quick tones. But-

_"- to the earth kingdom, My Lord," _the rest of the sentence was lost in the fog, and she frowned, trying to pull it out, fighting her way through the haze. It was there. Something…something important, something that mattered more than anything else. Something she had _forgotten_ but hadn't really left behind. She needed it, whatever it was, she felt that need more than anything else she had in all these years she had sat in this tower.

_All these years_.

"Ty Lee." The sound of Azula's voice surprised even her, it was not what she remembered. Her friends name creaked out rather than sprung forth, the sound garbled by years of neglect, as vocal cords that barely remembered they were supposed to make sound struggled to perform their duty.

But there was plenty of time for them to remember, as Ty Lee had frozen up completely, her bright eyes wide with shock as she stared at Azula, a forkful of cake held a few inches in front of her mouth. Finally, some old process in the acrobats mind must have kicked into gear, and Ty Lee set the fork down.

"Yes, Azula?" She asked, looking a bit surprised at herself. How many times had their conversations started that way; Azula demanding her attention by saying her name and the other girl giving it to her without question…_Just like she should.. Some things never change. _

It took Azula nearly a minute to manage the next sentence, the concentration evident on her face. "…How old am I?"

Something in Ty Lee broke, and the acrobatic girl burst into tears, closing the space between them and throwing her arms around Azula's neck, nearly squishing the piece of cake between them. She didn't answer for a long time, hugging her while Azula just sat there, and then she leaned back, her hands resting on the former Princess's shoulders.

"Today is your twenty-first birthday, Azula," Ty Lee smiled, despite the tears that ran down her face.

_Six years. Nearly seven_. Azula said nothing, staring at Ty Lee, and then she nodded her head. "Okay. Thank you." The words were easier, her voice stronger, but she said nothing else, just returned to eating her cake. Eventually Ty Lee released her and returned to her perch on the couch, talking just as she had before. But now the other girl kept watching her more carefully, watching for another word, another sound, _something_. Azula wished she could give it. But her attention was gone again, her golden eyes narrowed, reaching back towards the memory. _"-to the earth kingdom, my lord-"_

_

* * *

_

Ty Lee left an hour later, leaving half the cake behind but taking the forks with her. Azula said nothing else, and eventually the nurse came in for her evening medicine, two small glasses of water mixed with herbs, one orange and one light blue. _The orange stops your bending, the blue makes you weak_. She drank the orange, hesitated on the blue, and then drank it down as well.

Sleep, at least, was easy. She dozen often, and slept through most nights. The dreams rarely woke her up, the nightmares never did. But this was different, she knew the moment it began. Her mind felt…clearer, somehow.

_"So girls, how's the cake? Delicious, isn't it?" Azula was seated in the small dining room that served, a large piece of Strawberry and Moon Peach cake sitting in front of her. Ty Lee was to her left, and Mai sat across from them, each with their own piece, and all three girls were enjoying the cake._

_ "It's amazing, Azula! I'm so glad your mother let us have some." Ty Lee was bubbling away as she ate, a big grin on her face and a bit of cake caught on the edge of her lower lip. "I could eat it for hours!"_

_ Azula sighed and grabbed a napkin, then reached out and harshly rubbed it across Ty Lee's face to get the cake off her lip. "Really Ty Lee, appearances matter. Eat like a civilized person. You are a noble and you should at least _try_ to look that way."_

_ "Sorry Azula!" Ty Lee squirmed under the napkin but didn't seem to care either way._

_ "Mai, what do you think?" The Princess turned her attention to her quieter friend. _

_ "It's fine. I like it." Mai shrugged as she answered, but she was eating the cake with almost as much relish as the other two girls, so Azula let it go. It wasn't easy to get Mai to be interested in much, anyway. And it was rarely worth the effort. _

_ Although…_

_ "Mai, go and find Zuzu for me, would you? He really should have some cake too," it wasn't that hard to predict what would make Mai happy. All Azula had to do was mention her idiot brother and the others eyes lit up. She tried to hide it, but Azula always noticed._

_ "Alright, whatever," Mai slid out of her seat and disappeared from the room. Azula spent the next few minutes berating Ty Lee about her cake-eating posture, all for her own good of course. Not that any of her helpful lectures seemed to work on the other girl. She'd smile and nod and certainly seem to be paying rapt attention to everything Azula said, but five minutes later she was right back to doing whatever she had been doing before. _

_ "-in here, Zuko," Mai's voice echoed into the room a moment before the girl returned, leading a young Zuko in a simple training outfit, looking a bit sweaty. "It's really good cake, you'll like it." Mai moved back to her seat, Azula would've sworn the quiet girl had been blushing, and Zuko paused in the doorway, watching his sister. _

_ He thought it was a trick, of course, but Azula couldn't blame him. It almost always was a trick…it probably would be, once she thought of something. _

_ Still, after a few seconds of her brother just standing there, Azula sighed in frustration. "Oh hurry up and have some cake, Zuzu. There's too much for the three of us to eat."_

_ "Don't call me Zuzu," Zuko muttered, but he shrugged finally and moved around the table to sit next to Mai, cutting himself a piece of the cake. His nervous face brightened considerably when he finally took a bit, and he actually smiled at his sister. "This _is_ good, Azula. Thanks for sending Mai to get me."_

_ Azula smirked and nodded her head. "Of course, Zuzu. You _are_ my brother, I'm always thinking of you." She narrowed her eyes, watching as he ate, and then an idea sprung into her mind._

_ She reached over and picked up Ty Lee's plate, balancing it on the palm of her hand, her smirk fading into a genuine grin._

_ "Hey! Azula, that's my-" Before Ty Lee could even finish her complaint, Azula had hurled the cake across the table, where it smacked solidly into Zuko's face just as he was opening his mouth to take another bite. The pastry squished against his skin, splattering bits of icing and fruit across the table, all over Zuko, and even onto poor Mai._

_ Zuko let out a yelp and leapt out of his chair even as Mai shouted in protest. Azula couldn't help but burst out laughing, watching as the two of them scrambled to try an get the cake off their skin. After a few seconds Ty Lee joined in. "Really now, Zuzu, you should've been trained enough to avoid that. It doesn't even fly very fast."_

_ "I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE TO DODGE STUFF WHEN WE'RE JUST EATING!" Zuko shouted so loud you could probably hear it on the other side of the palace, and then turned and stalked out of the room. He left a trail of cake behind him as it fell off his face and clothes, but Azula didn't care about that, the maids would clean it up._

_ "You got cake in my _hair_," Mai hissed from across the table, glaring at Azula. "I can't believe you!"_

_ "Oh relax, it's just cake. Ty Lee, go help Mai clean herself up." Azula wave a hand and Ty Lee bounced out of her chair. _

_ "Sure, okay. Come on Mai!" She ran out, leading the other away, and leaving Azula alone with the cake._

_ The Princess finished her piece, and then sighed. How long did it really take to get cake out of hair? They were probably chattering away wasting time instead of hurrying back to her like they were supposed to, anyway. Useless. _

_ She slid from the chair and started off into the palace, intent on rounding up her wayward friends before the boredom could really get to her. The palace was pleasantly quiet for this time of day, the lull between when the servants cleaned and when they began serving dinner, and Azula enjoyed walking through the spacious hallways, pretending that everyone was simply getting out of the way because she was coming._

_ Her attention was drawn to the sound of voices though, deep and urgent voices coming from one of her father's meeting rooms. She hurried quietly down the hall, stopping just outside the door and pressing her eat to the keyhole to listen._

_ "-already been arranged. The Fire Lady will leave immediately after and take a ship to the earth kingdom, my lord." The voice was Kulat, one of her father's closest advisors, a heavy set man in his late sixties who had been around so long doing 'necessary things' Azula considered him part of the furniture. "She'll arrive at the port of Chin, and then presumably travel along the Southern Caravan route to-" _

_ "I don't care where she goes once she's gone, Kulat," a stern, crisp, deep voice…her father, Ozai. "As long as she's gone."_

_ "Yes, my lord. If I may speak freely, sir, your lord father will-"_

_ "I don't care what he will do either! And by tomorrow morning, no one else will either." Ozai rarely yelled, and it startled Azula so much she actually backed away from the door in surprise, her eyes wide._

_ "Azula, what are you doing?"_

_ The Princess spun around to find her mother approaching, a curious expression on her face, and something else too. A sadness Azula didn't remember seeing before. "Were you eavesdropping, Azula?"_

_ Azula put on her dutifully polite face and smiled. "Of course not, mom. Have you seen Mai and Ty Lee?"_

_ "They're in the southern bathroom. Azula. But I would like to talk to you for a-"_

_ "I have to go find them, mom. We can talk later!" Before her mother could continue, Azula turned and ran off down the hall to find her friends._

Azula awoke with a gasp and nearly fell from her bed as she sat up, catching herself on her hand at the last second, her eyes wide. She was in her room in the tower, she was…right. It had been a dream, just a dream. _No more trips to the palace, of course._ Judging by the light coming through the window, the dream had lasted straight through until morning. She frowned, it had only felt like a few minutes, and yet there was the sun creeping into the room.

"Azula?" The nurse pushed the door open, peering inside, and then smiled polite. "You're up early this morning." She spoke in that friendly, empty tone people reserved for talking to invalids and crazy people. _No surprise there._. "Well, since you're up, you can take your medicine."

The nurse ducked out of the room, returning a few moments later with the two glasses of water. Azula drank the orange one without a thought, and then paused again at the blue. It had been eight hours, maybe ten, since the last dosage. The fog was…fading. She could still hold on to the dream, still remember Ty Lee's visit clearly. She needed…she needed something. _Don't drink it._

"Azula, you need to drink all your medicine. It's good for you." The nurse lifted up the glass, holding it out to her, and finally Azula shook her head.

"…I need to see my brother," her voice was stronger than yesterday but not by a lot, and the words were so quiet for a moment she wasn't even sure she'd said them. Not until the nurse gasped in surprise and nearly dropped the glass of water. "I need…"

"Azula, you…" The nurse started to speak but Azula reached out and grabbed her arm, clinging to it tightly, her golden eyes wide, nervous. Emotions that hadn't had a chance to surface in years were bubbling to the top. Fear, worry, anger, all of it sat there on the edge of her mind. _"-to the earth kingdom, my lord-"_

"Tell him it's about mom." She finally finished, and then slumped back onto her bed.

* * *

Author's Note: Ever have one of those stories where you start out with one idea and it goes somewhere else? I was talking about Avatar with a friend of mine, and they asked if I thought it was possible for Azula to find redemption. True redemption, and maybe even a life beyond what she spent so many years being for her father. And…I'm honestly not sure. I started writing this just to see what would occur to me, I never expected…well, there's a story here! We can figure it out together. _Can_ Azula find redemption? It's a very rare thing…

Well, let me know what you think, please. Good reviews, bad reviews, I just enjoy hearing what you think. More will come later!


	2. Chapter 2

The Long Way Home

Chapter 2

It was over a day before Azula heard anything. She was now three doses out on the blue medicine, though each time the nurse arrived she took the orange without argument. _Wouldn't know how to firebend anymore, probably._ But the blue induced the fog, and the fog was beginning to lift.

When the messenger from the palace arrived, Azula was seated on the floor in the middle of her room, cross-legged, her hands on her knees, trying to force the last bits of confusion from her mind. She could think straight…for the first time in years she could think a whole sentence from beginning to end and not lose it in the middle, or get distracted, or even just fall asleep. There were huge gaps, of course, months and months of the last seven years that the medicine had erased completely, but she wasn't sure that was such a bad thing.

"Azula, we've heard back from the Fire Lord."

Azula hadn't heard the door open, and she frowned at herself, opening her golden eyes to stare at the nurse. The former princess had known the nurse for years, and yet looking at her now she didn't seem familiar at all. Even her voice seemed different. Clearer, crisper, a little on the old side with that edge of formal disinterested that all people who were _paid _to take care of you had. _Life outside of a haze, so distinct. Forgot already._

The nurse paused, seemingly waiting for Azula to say something, but when he was evident her patient was just going to stare at her, she continued. "You're going to be taken to see the Fire Lord in the morning."

_A prisoner brought before her lord. _"I see." She said, and her voice was much stronger now. She had practiced, quietly, saying simple words over and over. Bed, floor, shoe, hat, house, stone, _fire_. "Will I need the chains, then?" She remembered them, the grooves were still there in the wall for when she had been chained to the bed for all those months before the medicine had finally taken hold. She had been so angry. _Rightly angry_. So furious at everyone and everything, it didn't matter who. But they had been taken away years ago; once she had 'calmed down.'

The nurse shook her head. "No. As long as you continue taking your bending medicine, he said they will settle for an escort. And he said if you are going to insist on not taking your other medicine, we may stop giving it to you, for now." There was a faint frown on the nurse's face at that, but she said nothing else about it. "You should get yourself ready. They are preparing a bath for you and I'll bring you in a fresh change of clothing later."

And then she left again, and Azula let her eyes close, forcing her mind to relax again. A bath would certainly be nice, especially now that was coherent enough to actually know she was in one.

There were benefits to being the princess, even if you were the insane princess who had tried to kill her brother. This tower was hers, the facilities here had been built specifically to house her and the nurses and doctors were here just to take care of her. She remembered that now, the memory creeping back along with so many others. She'd been chained up in the old wing of the palace, and Zuko had come in and explained what had been built for her. She remembered being so angry, she'd screamed bloody murder and a thousand threats at him. But looking back, it certainly could have been far worse.

Azula spent a bit more time just trying to clear her head before the siren song of a bath lured her from the floor. There were two men standing outside of her room, dressed in the angular armor of army fire benders. Now that she thought about it, she had seen them hundreds of times before. They were always there, them or two more who were probably so similar they might as well have had interchangeable names. _Not that their names are worth learning._

There were two nurses waiting at the bath, seemingly waiting to bathe her, and memories flared into Azula's mind of hundreds of baths where she sat on the edge of the tub, staring at nothing, while these two scrubbed her clean. Not today.

"I'll be fine," she said, slipping past both of them into the small room, ignoring twin objections of surprise. If she was suddenly putting them out of a job, she really didn't care. _Being the crazy princess's bathroom servant is probably pretty cushy._ It was nothing like the palace, no ornate bathtube and perfect tile floor. Just a simple metal basin that was just long enough to lay comfortably in and a simple stepstool where some shampoo and soap sat. The basin was already filled with water, and she stuck a hand in it. Cold. _It's always cold._

Her hands bunched up at her sides, staring at the chilly water. This had never been a problem for her, not before. Cold drinks, cold baths, _cold lakes_, she could fire bend them warm. And yet here she was, staring at a cold bath, and she was helpless. Well…_not completely_.

"Hey, you," she turned back to the door, where the two fire bending guards had taken up positions on either side. After a moment, one of the guards twisted around to peer into the room.

"Me?"

"I don't care which one of you. Heat up this water for me." She waved a hand towards the basin and moved out of the way.

"What? We aren't supposed-"

"It's just water. Hurry up, I want to get a bath," her tone was imperious, demanding, one she had used a thousand times before, but it felt rusty somehow. It must have been, since the guard actually spent several moments trying to make up his mind before he finally stepped into the room.

Azula took several steps back from the tub and folded her arms, waiting. The guard put out his hands, palms flat against the air, and twin gouts of flame burst forth, wrapping around the metal tub. The flames were orange, not the hot blue that Azula had always bended, which meant that this was going to take a minute or two. But Azula didn't even realize how much time passed, her eyes transfixed by the fire.

The flames danced around the tub, and the metal popped in several places as the cold was forced from it. Azula watched every flicker of the fire, the living flame shifting and swirling in the air, and she felt her fingers clench against her arms, her gold eyes narrowing. _Should be me._ From where she was standing she could feel the heat, hot enough that the air shimmered, but she didn't care. If she had been able to move at all she would've gone closer, run her hand through the fire, like an old friend…

Still, after a short while the water began to steam, and Azula yanked herself from her daze, pulling her gaze away from the flame and focusing on a crack in the floor. "That's enough, you can leave."

The guard had left the room before Azula looked up, frowning at the space where the fire had been. It had been…entrancing. She'd almost wanted throw herself into it. _That would be a stupid way to die, dum-dum_.

The water would take a few moments to settle down into a temperature that wouldn't burn her, so she took her time getting out of her dirty robe, leaving it and her underthings in a pile on the floor before carefully setting a foot into the tub. The water was hot, hotter than anything she had felt in years, and it sent sparks through her body, her arms actually shaking as though from chills before she adjusted, letting out a long breath. _Perfect_.

She sank down into the water all the way up to her chin, resting her head against one end of the metal tub. The inside was padded with a thin layer of animal hide, designed to make sure the occupant didn't burn themselves against the hot metal of the side, and she sunk slightly into the soft leather, letting her eyes close.

"And what do you hope to do now, Azula?"

A woman sat on a small box by the basin. She was tall and thin, with long black hair and a narrow, open face. Her lips were thin, drawn into a line of concern as she stared down at her daughter. Her robes, the soft, muted reddish-brown of the Fire Lady, rustled faintly in the silence of the room.

"Nothing. I'll tell Zuko what I remember and then they'll stick me back in this hole to rot. Just like he wants, just like _you_ want." Azula spoke quietly, her voice barely a whisper.

"I never wanted this for you. No one wanted this for you," the woman spoke just as softly, but there was a strength behind her words, the strength of quiet resolve and muted determination. The words could have moved mountains if they needed to. "All I ever wanted was for you to smile."

_Too late for that_. "You should have treated me differently then. You shouldn't have loved Zuko more!" Azula lifted herself from the water, her golden eyes flaring open to glare at the former Fire Lady.

"I never loved Zuko more than you, but what does it matter now, Azula?" As she watched, Ursa's features began to melt. "You had the dream but cannot act on it, you remain here, and no one can find you but me." As she spoke, her hair and skin seemed to fall away, curled up like it were burning and dropping to the floor in thick, melted piles. "Remember, whatever else you think, I always-" the words cut off as the woman finally shriveled up into a skeleton and then faded into a pile of bone and fabric. _A fitting end for-_

"No!" Azula lunged from the bath, grabbing desperately at the last of the ashes that floated in the air. She felt her foot catch on the edge of the tub, her ankle twisting away beneath her and sending her crashing to the floor, and everything went dark.

* * *

"Azula, wake up."

There was a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently, and she could feel the water, gone slightly cold, sloshing around her body. One of the nurses was kneeling by the tub, shaking her on the shoulder. She was seated just as she had been when she first got in the tub, her head resting against the metal edge, the water still up to her chin.

"What? But I-"

"It was just a dream. Do you want to finish your bath?" There was a practiced calm in the woman's voice, and Azula couldn't help but wonder if this was something that had happened before, over the years. _No, there were never any nightmares while in a tower to deal with insanity and delusions. Not one._ She rolled her eyes and then nodded at the question.

"Yes. Help me with my hair." She finally answered, but her eyes were fixed on the floor just outside of the tub. There was no trace of her mother, of course. Even the little box she had been sitting on wasn't there. _Of course not._

Between the nurse and herself, she was clean before the water become unbearably cold, and she returned to her room in silence, dressed in another of the hundreds of identical loose-fitting red robes she had been wearing over the last seven years.

"There are clothes in your room for tomorrow. Your escort will be here just after sunrise," the nurse stood in the doorway, her eyes slightly distant as she stared at the fire princess. "Do you want someone to wake you?"

"Sunrise," Azula nodded her head, considering. "I…believe I can wake myself up." _Oh, just like a big girl, huh?_ "You can leave."

There was a package on her bed, wrapped in a brown cloth and tied with bakers string, with a note tucked into the knot. Azula tugged the wrapping loose and lifted the paper, tracing a finger over the handwritten words.

_I know you so _hate_ to not look your best._

_~ Mai_

In the package was the black, brown and gold outfit worn by the royal family, although the royal trim and seals had been removed. She'd even included the shoes. Azula let the material run through her fingers, her mind wandering back to all the hundreds of times she had worn something so similar to this. _She took off all the important parts. _Azula carefully hung the clothes on a stone hook next to the door and sat down on her perch by the window to wait.

If there was one thing that all these years in the tower had taught her, it was patience. Granted, it the patience of not really caring how much time passed, but patience of a sort regardless. Hours later they brought in dinner and her medicine, and sometime after that she fell asleep.

The dream from the night before didn't return, instead it was back to the usual. Flashes of the fights she had lost, the battles she had lost, the mistakes she had made. She knew them all by heart now, though the order sometimes changed.

When the first rays of sunlight crept across her face she awoke instantly, sitting up, stretching…and then nearly laughed as she realized how simple it had been. No hesitation in the motion, no struggling through a fog of memories and nonsense. The last of the befuddling blue medicine must have finally left her system. While she never would have admitted it, everything felt somehow more…alive. She imagined Ty Lee would have called it 'shiny,' and it was apt enough. _Pathetic_.

"Your escort has arrived, Princess," one of the guards spoke up from outside the door. "They are waiting outside the tower."

"I'll be ready momentarily," she called back, hauling herself from her bed and tugging her outfit from the hook on the wall.

She dressed quickly, and somehow being in the new clothes that were so old and familiar just heightened the strange aura of the morning. She almost felt giddy. She tugged her hair up into a topknot and slid the simple metal decoration into it to hold it in place, but couldn't seem to get it quite right. She pulled it apart and quickly tried again, but this time it seemed to sag strange to the left, and she hissed in irritation.

"Let me get that for you," the sudden voice from behind startled her, but she recognized it immediately. Ty Lee. Azula hadn't even heard the door open, but she just dropped her hands away from her hair with a sigh.

"Fine. Are you my escort?"

Ty Lee was humming softly as she gathered up Azula's hair and went about fitting into a simple, straight topknot. "Nope. They're downstairs. I was having breakfast in the garden when they left so I thought I'd tag along. There. You look lovely." Ty Lee bounced back a step or two, smiling brightly.

Azula reached up a hand and traced her fingers over the topknot carefully for a moment, and then nodded her head. "Let's go."

The two guards fell into step on either side of Azula, escorting her down through the tower. It was only four stories high, most of the rooms kept as living quarters for the nurses and guards that handled her tower. Azula was the only patient. So it took less than a minute to reach the small courtyard. Eight men in full firebender armor stood at attention, and Azula paused in the doorway, staring out at them. "_Eight_ firebenders for one powerless girl, hmm?" she actually smirked.

"Well, you certainly deserve an extravagant escort, Azula," Ty Lee commented as she bounced down the stairs to the courtyard. "We're ready to go, boys!"

The soldiers saluted Ty Lee and turned in formation, waiting until she and Azula fell into the center before they started off out of the courtyard and down the thin trail outside the tower.

The trail itself was fairly long, the tower tucked up high into the mountains behind the royal palace. As they walked, Azula fell into step next to Ty Lee, her voice a whisper.

"Why did they all salute you?"

"Hmm?" Ty Lee blinked, as though she hadn't even noticed they did it. "Oh, well, I guess you're supposed to salute a superior office and all that. It's polite, ya know? I don't really make them but…if they want to, I won't complain!" She shrugged.

"Superior officer?"

"Mmhmm. I _am _a general."

"…You're a _what_?" Azula was genuinely stunned, and stopped in her tracks to stare at her bubbly friend. _A general? HAH._ "How?"

Ty Lee smiled weakly, and actually looked rather embarrassed. "Well…it's kind of a long story, right? I can totally tell you later. But we need to keep going now, okay?" She pointed down the path.

Azula almost pushed the issue, but then balled her hands into fists and nodded, forcing herself to start moving again. "Fine. But you are going to explain that."

"Of course I will. I guess I figured you already knew, huh? …Sorry." Ty Lee looked away, and the rest of the walk down the mountain was filled with silence.

The path led to a side entrance in the city, one of the old paths opposite the port that no one used anymore. In fact, the streets were deserted as they moved on towards the palace proper. Azula wanted to ask where everyone was, but the question died on her lips. _What does it matter?_

When they reached the palace, the fire bender guards escorted them into the courtyard, and then Ty Lee waved at them to stop. "I can take her from here boys. Go relax, take the morning off." The guards saluted, but made no motion to leave the courtyard as Ty Lee and Azula continued into the building. They probably hard orders not to leave regardless of how 'safe' it seemed. _Traitor Princess, have to be careful, right?_

The first thing Azula noticed when they entered the throne room was that there were now two chairs, not one, and the wall of fire that she and her father had used to separate them from petitioners was gone, though the flame track itself still remained. Zuko, dressed in the robes and crown of the Fire Lord, sat in the chair on the right, while Mai sat in the chair on the left, though she was dressed in a simple brown dress, and not the Fire Lady robes.

"See? I told you I got the size right," Mai commented quietly as Ty Lee and Azula walked across the room. "If we'd gone with your size she'd be tripping over her own shirt now." The years had been kind to Azula's old friend, and if anything her high cheekbones and pale, pretty features had heightened her strange beauty. Zuko, on the other hand, looked much the same as he had before. Older, of course, and the scar seemed more a part of him than an accident, but otherwise her older brother was much the same as before. _Still weak_.

"I let you pick in the end, didn't I?" Zuko rolled his eyes, and then turned his attention fully to the two women crossing the room.

Ty Lee bowed as they got closer, but then bounced back on her heels and grinned. "Here she is, Zuko!"

"Ty Lee," Mai sighed, as if she were about to point out for the hundredth time that Ty Lee was supposed to call Zuko 'Fire Lord' when they were in this room, but then she just shook her head as though it wasn't worth the effort. "Whatever. Thanks for bringing her here."

"Of course!" Ty Lee smiled brightly, and then moved aside, allowing Azula to take her place in the center of the room, facing the Fire Nation Rulers.

"Azula," her brother seemed uncertain what to say, his mouth opening and closing several times, a frown creasing his forehead. Finally he seemed to settle on something. "I…am glad you are feeling better." It was almost a question, and it was all Azula could do not to laugh at him.

Mai, however, didn't even try to hide her amusement at that, reaching out to whack the fire lord on the arm. "Zuko, stop it. Azula, you told the guards that you needed to tell us something about Zuko's mother." The Fire Lady's golden eyes turned to fix on her old friend, and there was a startling determination there. One Azula hadn't seen since the taller girl had betrayed her at boiling rock. _All business. And she's my mother too!_

Azula had remained silent through all of thus, studying the two of them, filing away the changes that had obviously come as the years went by. But when Mai addressed her, she nodded her head. "I had a dream."

"A dream?" Zuko just blinked in surprise. "Seriously? A dream pulled you out of…whatever you were in? Dreams don't cure insanity, Azula. What's going on?"

"I'm not crazy, Zuko," _liar_ "And it wasn't just a dream, it was a memory. Something…" An amused smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. "Do you three remember, the day before Grandpa Azulon died, when I threw that cake at Zuko?"

There were nods all around, including a giggle from Ty Lee and an annoyed glare from Zuko. "Yes, of course I remember, you ruined my-" He caught himself and growled. "What's your point?"

"While all of you went off to clean yourselves up, _I_ went for a walk. I overheard father speaking with one of his advisors about a trip that someone was going to take, _in secret_, the next day." Her smirk became a wicked smile, "the day our mother disappeared."

There was silence in the room, a silence so pervading that for a moment Azula worried that this entire scene was another of her delusions, and she was still locked up in the tower, drinking her blue water and staring out at nothing. But when Zuko finally shifted, the look on his face one of shock and happiness and irritation, Azula knew it was real. _You've got him_.

"Well? Where? Where was she going?" He stood from the royal seat and stalked down the three steps to the floor, moving over to stand before her. He was much taller than she remembered, and Azula actually had to tilt her neck up to keep looking him in the eyes.

"I can't tell you," she finally said, and even Azula was surprised to hear the regret in her voice. Why couldn't she tell him? It was the reason she was here, the reason she had forced herself from her stupor. She'd tell Zuko, he'd send people to find her, and she'd go back to her little tower to die.

"WHAT?" Zuko was stunned, and Azula almost thought he might hit her. Apparently Mai was worried as well, as she was suddenly next to him, gently trying to draw him back. "That's insane! You have to tell me. Why else would you come down here?"

"Zuko," _Zuzu_, "if I tell you, you'll send a whole army to follow the trail. No. If anyone is going to go after mother, it has to be _me_." Azula crossed her arms. "No one will be able to find her but me."

If the last silence had been persuasive, this one was oppressive. Even Ty Lee looked stunned as the three of them stared at her. And yet, Azula suddenly felt _better_; as if some weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She hadn't known exactly what she needed until she'd said it, but now that the words were out there, they just felt…right.

"That's crazy," Zuko was quiet now, the anger gone, replaced with something else. Sadness? "_You're_ still crazy, Azula. You have to know there is no way we could let you go wandering around the world. Even if you weren't dangerous, there are too many people out there who would kill you if they got the chance." He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Are you worried about me, Zuzu?" She smirked, crossing her arms. "How am I dangerous? One girl with no firebending, no army and no support, I couldn't take over a bathroom, let alone a kingdom. And who would recognize me? It's been seven years. As far as anyone knows, I'm still locked away in whatever deep, dark hole you dropped me in after you became Fire Lord."

"That's not good enough, Azula," it was Mai who spoke up, but there was something in her old friends face that gave Azula hope. "You have to understand, you tried to kill so many people, you…" She shook her head. "What possible reason could you have to believe _you_ are the only person who can find Ursa, anyway? Your mother never even liked you."

Trust Mai to say what everyone was thinking. _It isn't true._ "I just know. No one else will be able to find her. It has to be me."

"It can't be you. Even if you're right about not having an army, your firebending will come back after a few days without your medicine. You're too dangerous to be let go, Azula. We both know exactly how much damage you can do if you really want to."

"I will keep taking my medicine, then." She shrugged. "That would solve that problem."

"And we're just supposed to trust you? 'Gee, I'm sooo sorry, but I have to go find mom so let me go, I promise to be good.'" Mai smirked. "Azula, how stupid do you think we are?"

_Very_. "Then send someone with me who can give me the medicine," Azula paused, and then lifted an arm to point at Ty Lee. "Ty Lee gave me my medicine once a week for four years, she can come with me. You trust her, don't you?"

The Fire Lord and Lady turned to Ty Lee, who looked absolutely stunned. "I…" And then her ever-cheerful face broke into a frown. "Azula…I can't just pick up and leave like before. I have duties here, I have responsibilities on Kyoshi too. It…I mean…" The other girl almost looked like she might cry, and a small part of Azula actually felt bad for putting her on the spot like this. _Not really_.

"Ty Lee," Azula sucked in a breath, nearly swallowing the word before it could slip out. "…Please."

If Ty Lee had looked surprised before, she was absolutely shocked at that. Azula couldn't blame her, she would've sworn the word wasn't in her vocabulary; At least, not unless she was mocking someone with it. But for a long few moments, it still looked like the acrobatic girl was going to say no. She even had tears welling up in her eyes.

"…Okay." She turned to Zuko and Mai, and smiled faintly. "If Azula wants me to come with her, and you allow it, I'll go."

Zuko said nothing, looking from Azula to Ty Lee and back, and then he reached up and pressed his hand into his forehead. "I don't…Mai, come with me. We need to go talk about this. Someone will bring you a chair, Azula."

Before she could even respond, Zuko had swept Mai and Ty Lee back up towards the thrones, and through a small door behind them which Azula remembered led to a discussion room, something the Fire Lord could use during council meetings for minor emergencies.

And then she was alone.

Her gaze lingered on the twin ornate thrones, the fingers on her right hand tapping irritably on her upper arm, long after a guard quietly brought her in a plain wooden chair and slipped away.

* * *

Author's Note:

Well, there's chapter 2 for you. I'm still winging this, but I have some idea what's going on now, so…yay? Hopefully everyone still likes the story. Thank you, people who reviewed this, it really means a lot to me. Reviews keep me motivated too, so if you like the story, review! It helps make more chapters happen!

Next time we find out what the Fire Lord and Friends decide, Azula will probably go shopping, and we may see a small child, I haven't made up my mind about that.

Oh. And yes, there's totally a backstory for someone being willing to put Ty Lee in charge of an army. It popped into my head and made me smile so I stuck it in. She'll explain in vague terms, and it may even turn into its own story later.


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